Homeless…

Homeless but not without hope.

So I’ll begin.  I was born on a cold February night…

Okay, bored already, me too.

My mom passed away when I was young.  My brother and I found her on the kitchen floor.  Go here and read about it, but please come back.

I then went on to live a life that was different by some standards.  Alot of things happened.

No regrets.

I got to a point where enough was too far.  I was 18 years old, still trying to find my way.  I came up with a plan and put it together.  Really wasn’t much of a plan.  I was working so I had a little money.  Certainly not enough for rent, car payment, car insurance, food to feed me, bills, etc.  But I knew I had to get out.   I think I was making, maybe $7.45 an hour.  Yippie!!!

So one day, I packed up everything.  Put it in the back of my little Chevy Nova–man I really loved that car, you’ll get why later.  I took all of my earthly belongings to a storage business.  I rented out a 5×10 unit and place everything in it.  It cost me $25.00 a month.  Much less than $550 a month for a roof over my head.  I hung up strings for a clothes line to hang up my work clothes.  Organized it so I could get the things I would need to get on a daily basis.  Honestly, I would have painted the walls if I thought it would be ok.  This was to be an extension of my home as I knew it to be.

Next I went to the local post office and got a mailing address for $10 a month, then went to the local YMCA and got a membership for $18 a month.  I had my car and the payment for that was $250 a month.  So for around $280 a month I was set.

I had a place to take a shower, a place to get mail, a place to store all my possessions-which really wasn’t much.  I had a car to sleep in and by this point 3 jobs.

This was my choice. I choose to leave. I knew when I left I was making a choice to be Homeless.   I wasn’t pushed out the door or even asked to leave.

But it was time.

With that said, I will add.  I have no regrets about my life.  Looking back, I sometimes feel pain.  And know that I still have some things to deal with.  But I have no regrets, so my emotional baggage is light.  It’s still there but downsized to just a backpack for now.  It used to be a 18 piece luggage set to drag around.  Not so much anymore.  And soon the backpack will be downsized as well.

It’s amazing what can happen when you find the love of the Lord waiting on you.

So you ask, “how I did it”?

My day would start at 4 or 5am depending on where I had parked the car to sleep.  I then would go to the YMCA and get my membership card scanned at 5:30am.  There was a older lady who checked me in everyday.  After awhile I think she was on to me.  At this time in the morning, people were coming in for a workout, shower then head off to work.  So they were there for well over an hour.  I was in and out in 40 minutes.  I wasn’t there to workout. I was there to get a shower.  She never said anything to me.  She did not have to.  I could see it in her eyes and her barely wanting to take my card to scan.  Her judgement was a little harsh.

I was living on the streets, not working them.

I was then off to my first job.  I worked at a Nursing Home till 3pm–this was my 40 hour a week job.  Then at 4pm I went to a part time job –this was my 20 to 25 hour a week job.  Then I would pick up home health care jobs on the side.  Sometimes this was from 11pm to 6am.  Which worked out great because it gave me a place to stay.  This job added 12- 15 or so hours to my work week.  I did this just about every Friday and Saturday night when I didn’t have my Monday – Friday 7am – 3pm job to get up and go to.

I was single.  Young.  Didn’t go to school.  Not too many friends.  And nothing else to do.  So this was doable for me.  I know I lived it.

On the nights when I was done working at 9pm and I did not have to go any other jobs till 7 am the next day.   I had alot of time on my hands.  So I would go to a local store that was open for 24 hours and take my time looking.  When it came time to sleep–if that’s what you want to call it.  I would find a spot in the parking lot and close one eye and keep one listening ear open.  You see, I was a young lady, trying to sleep in my car.  I had to be listening for someone messing with the car.  Anything could have happened.  But it didn’t.

My God was with me even when I didn’t know He was there.

I did not sleep in the same spot twice.  Couldn’t– what if someone was watching and tracking my patterns.  I moved around every night.  Some nights I would sleep for awhile.  Wake up, drive to another spot.

Sleep, repeat steps.

On nights when it was really cold out.  I would drive around to get the car warm.  Then find a spot to sleep.  If it was a spot I felt good about.  I would just wake up when I got cold to turn the car on for awhile.  Now you understand why I loved my car so much.

She's a keeper!!

This went on for about a year.  While working my 3 jobs I was trying to save some money.  I was looking into getting an apartment, but knew I wanted to have money first before taking a big step like that.

Funny times: I went to a park on Saturday morning.  I had no job to go to.  Didn’t want  a Saturday morning workout at the Y.  So I went to a park around 8am,  I knew it was daylight, and it would be easier to see me sleeping in the car…but did not think I would draw any attention to myself.

I woke up around 10am.  Must have known someone was looking at me.  I rubbed my eyes and looked to my left.  Nope, no one there.  Then rubbed eyes again and looked to my right.  Rubbed eyes again to be sure……a police car with 2 officers watching me.  Rubbed eyes again..are they really there?  Yes.  I can only think of what they were thinking.  I was working the streets.  Or selling illegal stuff from the trunk of my Nova.

I moved slowly and started my car.  Then pulled away.  They let me.   I was glad.

More another time, it’s late now…

Disclaimer:  I am not in any way giving you a way to live your life if you are thinking about leaving your home or situation.  This is what I choose to do for myself.  Please seek counseling with a local church or support center, they are there for you and want to help.

I wrote my story to give hope to anyone reading it that the Lord loves us and keeps His hands around us for protection, even when we don’t *know* him.  There was not one time I can think of that I was in fear for my life sleeping in a parking lot, and it should be noted, this happened over 20 years ago.  Times and society are MUCH different now.  As I mentioned, please seek help.